Finally! After five years of stop-start writing, The Wrath of the Four Horsemen is finished – the Four Horsemen have arrived. Strangely, no elation, just a sigh of relief. A weight has been lifted…
Where can I buy the book?
Use the links below to buy the book from Amazon in both Kindle and print formats:
I decided to use Amazon’s Kindle for the e-book and Createspace for the print version. While I’m reluctant to feed the fat belly of the Amazon* ‘Beast’, this seems to be the easiest and most cost-effective route to go down.
How much will the book cost?
Ideally, I would like to donate around 80% of the profit from each sale, to be split between Orchid Cancer and The Robin Cancer Trust (RCT), so the price has been provisionally set at: Print version £8.99 ($9.50 for USA); Kindle version £3.44 ($5.50 for USA).
This is obviously above the average for an equivalent book, but as the principal reason for publishing is to raise funds for cancer charities, I’m hoping this won’t discourage people from buying it.
What’s the book about?
Although the book starts off as a journal, a straightforward account of a journey through cancer, it soon morphs into a different beast entirely. Fact and fiction become stapled together, wrapped in fantasy adventure, and smothered with a big dollop of humour and satire chilli sauce.
Yes, there’s heart-wrenching emotion. You’ll read about the pain of undergoing intensive chemo – the brutal, debilitating and often degrading side effects – although this is only a small part of the story.
Instead, you’ll discover how the dinosaurs really died out; you’ll find out the shocking truth as to why the Tooth Fairies have seemingly ‘gone off the rails’; and you’ll get a taste of what life is really like in a typical English seaside town.
You’ll meet a whole host of characters along the way, including Madame Fifi-fafoo, Thor, the Chunky Bum Trolls, warrior snowmen and the iconic Plastic Santa – oh yes, there are also a few nurses and the odd doctor or two…
Imagine a convent full of nuns repeatedly prodding you in the face with tickling sticks dipped in cod liver oil, or being kicked around a mattress factory by the women from Wentworth Prison. It’s disturbing, and undoubtedly painful, yet somewhere deep inside there’s a feeling of liberation too.
Why buy the book?
To raise some funds and awareness for cancer charities! Orchid Cancer and The Robin Cancer Trust to be precise.
After going through cancer twice, it’s only natural that I should want to give something back. And as a confirmed slacker, writing a book seemed a much less strenuous task than running, climbing mountains, abseiling, trekking across deserts, or any type of physical activity. Besides, I couldn’t possibly get sweat stains, grime, dirt or dust on my treasured T-shirt collection – unless I’m going to a heavy metal gig, which is permitted, as it’s classed as an ‘exceptional circumstance’.
Why these charities?
My treatment was part of a research trial funded by Orchid Cancer, a male-specific cancer charity based at St Barts hospital in London, so they are an obvious choice.
I’m also supporting The Robin Cancer Trust, who are just down the road from me in Colchester. Set up in memory of Robin Freeman, who sadly died in 2011, they ‘aim to raise awareness of germ cell cancers, including both testicular and ovarian, in 16–35 year olds’.
Rob’s story particularly touched me as we were both under the same consultant, had the same GAMEC treatment, and were on the same ward (although a few years apart). I really admire his family’s bravery for setting up the charity after such a tragic loss.
Why? Humans have been asking this question since the dawn of mankind, yet we still don’t know the answer. I could say buy the book, and maybe it’ll help you move a step closer to enlightenment. It’s worth a try.